I’m feeling better than I did yesterday. I somewhat made a mistake but I don’t know how I feel about it. I think I feel better, though. I don’t want to admit to it, yet but I feel different. A good different, too. But, my mind is moving differently. I’m more aware of what’s happening. I feel more in control and I don’t feel like I’m just sinking. It’s like someone snapped their fingers and boom, back to normal. I feel pretty okay this morning, though. I’ve had coffee. I’ve worked on my store a little. I’m eating candy. I’m having asparagus tonight. I’m cutting down a Christmas tree tonight. I’m content. My clothes are in the dryer. I love having clean clothes... I haven’t been for a walk in a while but I may go today. Or...... I’ll more than likely use this Christmas tree thing as a thing... I’m a little lazy.

One Thing I Know About Myself

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Day 1

One Thing I Learned About Myself

I love rainy, gloomy weather. I love hearing cars gliding over the road and the splashes that accompany them. I like the absence of the sun. I like the smell of the air. I like how quiet it gets. I like being warm and cozy inside the house or even a car ride in the rain. It’s beautiful.

December 1, 2018

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This one particular episode of Jimmy Neutron used to scare the crap out of me. The one where the grandma used mind control to make everybody happy and she ended up being an alien at the end... I think it has to with my fear of people in masks or costumes, though. The fear of not knowing who it is. It doesn't sit well with me. Just creepy. Ugh. Like the first episode of American Horror Story: Cult, when Sarah Paulson was in the grocery store with all the clowns and what not, I almost lost it. I love scary things but I had to stop and take a break mid-panic attack to catch my own breath and remind myself that it was just a show. I still watched the whole season. (It was amazing, by the way). But, yeah, Chuck E. Cheese is a no from me. The Chic-fil-a cow??? No, thank you. I almost had a real panic attack and cried when my mom tried to make the cow hug me once. Ronald McDonald?? Dead. I will lose my mind and probably black out so it’s best not to even attempt it.