Well, I’m still staying true to my word. I’ve posted every single day, through sadness, tiredness, anger, etc. I’m still posting. I’m also keeping my word in other ways, too. Things that I said I would do for people and promises I’ve made to myself. I’m listening to myself more and taking more head to my soul. I’ve been doing/giving without expecting reward and things just keep happening in my favor. I’m thankful. I’m blessed.

I’m thinking about starting a more basic/simple, more user friendly website for my blogs. I’ve already started on it and I’ll unveil it soon. I’ll link all of these blogs that I’ve already done to it, too. But yeah... that’s all I’ve got today. Have a great day everyone! Thank you for reading!

I love showers and fresh clothes. My showers are always accompanied by a candle or two with my fresh, clean clothes folded nicely waiting for me to get out. Before I moved to this new house, I didn’t really tend to my hygiene needs routinely. Not saying I didn’t shower or anything like that but I used to just kind of let things do what they do. For example, I used one body lotion for my entire body and this Suave body scrub the same way and it dried out my skin and caused me to have bad eczema but now I use African Black Soap on my face every day. I use the Suave on the rest of my body. I put Shea butter on my hands and face and use a calming coconut body lotion with zero chemicals in it. My skin isn’t perfect but it’s pretty clear and soft. I do my absolute best to stay clean and moisturized now. Developing a consistent hygiene ritual has honestly boosted my confidence, a lot. Things like getting straight up and brushing my teeth and using the bathroom or making my bed before I start my day or at the very least before I end my day/shower, has given me a set of standards for myself. I do definitely think that’s a part of self-love. Making sure that you’re okay and that your skin is in good condition is a booster, seriously. I also love folding and putting away clothes but that’s another topic for another day, lol.

One Thing I Know About Myself

Where Am I Now?

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I don’t think I fully gave into God like I thought I did. Yes, I had faith that he would take care of me in this transitional time I’m in. Yes, I had faith that changing a few of my thinking patterns and applying myself to different things would help boost my morale and optimism. And it has... But, I didn’t have faith that he would make a way out of no way. I am in a position where I want to submit to a man and complete the cycle of a healthy relationship with God at the center of it. You know, where God comes first, then God pours into the man, then the man into the woman, then the woman into the children. But, instead of letting God pour into my man I’ve been begging for him to pour into me... Now, I know what you’re thinking... “You’re only 19. That’s what you’re supposed to do.” But, no. It isn’t. I can tell you now that I’m a lot different than most and not on the same path as anyone else. I have made my mistakes and I have given up and lost sight of what I truly want but I think that’s why we aren’t getting the blessings we’re meant for. I give up and fail the test every time. Since I’ve realized this, I’ve decided to start praying that God pours into him and makes a miracle happen. I have never prayed about anyone like this. I have never talked to God so much in my life. So, yeah. In conclusion.... I’m going to work on giving EVERYTHING to God and not just the things I want to give.

Quick thing, I would just like to thank everyone who reads my blogs. In the past 3 days, I have gotten so much feedback and interaction from people I wouldn’t have even expected it from. It means more than any of you will ever know. All I want to do is help people feel less alone. Thank you for giving me the boost I needed to keep going.

Day 4

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December 4, 2018

One Thing I’ve Learned About Myself