December 8, 2018

One Thing I’ve Learned

I’m sensitive, man. I cry about the littlest things. I get angry. I’m always on go to cuss someone out. I can think myself into a panic attack or mental breakdown. If only I could use that same energy to make myself happy. I wish. I’m not terribly unhappy but... sometimes I just wish I could be happy in the blink of an eye just like I do when I decide to make myself unhappy.

Where Am I Now?

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One Thing I Know About Myself

Today, I won’t do something I’ve learned about myself. I want to talk about something I learned.

Van Gogh used to drink chemicals. Why? They say it’s because he wanted to poison himself. But, I read that he wanted to drink yellow paint because it was a bright color and he wanted to make himself bright and happy.

Why does this interest me? I saw a post saying everyone has their own “yellow paint”. It doesn’t have to make sense. It’s that person’s happiness. You may think its crazy but they think it’s totally rational. Modern day yellow paint could be the equivalent to weed or alcohol or a toxic person or overeating junk food or things like that. It’s bad to others but to the person ingesting these things, it makes them happy. It gives them the push they need. It’s a whole thing.

Van Gogh probably wanted to drink the chemicals to die but decided that yellow paint would give him what he needed to not feel like death was his only option. Now, you and I both know that it would probably do more to ADD to him dying rather than make his life longer BUT, that wasn’t his motive. His motive was happiness. Period.

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Day 8